Afire Love
by Violet Bliss
Summary: She'd spent two years thinking about the quiet guy on the third floor, fantasising about a man she'd never met, but knew was there. One night, their worlds finally collide and Bella Swan finds that nothing could have prepared her for meeting Edward Cullen.
1. Prologue

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.**

**Beta'd by SunflowerFran, who is a wonderful human being.**

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><p><strong>Prologue<strong>

I was halfway across campus when I caught a glimpse of bronze.

_His _hair.

It was unmistakable.

No one else had hair that colour; so wild and untamed.

I knew it well.

Too well.

How soft it felt between my fingers, how it tickled when he fell asleep with his head on my chest and how it always smelled so good.

"Bella."

Just then, someone knocked into me and I looked around, startled to find that I'd stopped walking, my legs frozen and my heart pounding.

"Bella," He repeated.

That voice.

I knew that voice, dreamed about it, fantasised about it. I turned, and despite knowing that he would be standing there, I had to stifle a gasp.

"Edward."

His name fell from my lips before I could stop them, shock overruling rational thought.

Gone were the deep purple shadows that had been under his eyes when I'd seen him the month before. His cheeks were no longer sunken and his eyes remained, as they always had been, a vibrant, shining jade.

It made me my heart ache.

How could he just be okay when I'd been struggling just to get out of bed each morning; my mind tired and my heart heavy?

"What do you want Edward?" Anger was evident in my tone … I had stopped being sad weeks ago, the last of my sorrow drying up about the same time as my tears had. Now I was angry. For what he'd done, for what he said.

But mostly for what he didn't.

He shifted nervously, running his hands through his penny coloured hair and clearing his throat. "I wanted to talk to you."

My eyes narrowed and my hands fisted at my sides. "You're too late."

"Too late?" he echoed, his voice full of shock. I wanted to scoff. Of course, he'd think that I would wait for him, that I'd just drop everything and go running back into his arms. Two months ago I might have, but not now.

"Weeks too late, months too late. I'm done," I said, my voice void of all emotion. I moved to walk around him, determined to find a bathroom before I broke down in the middle of the quad, only to be stopped by his hand wrapping around my wrist.

"You can't be done, Bella. _Please._" His eyes were wide, pleading, in much the same way as I'd pleaded with him, only to have him turn his back on me.

"Goodbye Edward," I whispered, pulling my arm out of his grip and avoiding his gaze. "I wish you well."

"Bella!" he shouted but made no move to follow, and for that I was grateful. My shoulders hunching under the force his gaze on my back as I walked away, my head down as my body produced tears I didn't think would ever come again.

I hated Edward Cullen.

I hated him because I loved him.

I hated him because he didn't love me back.

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><p><strong>At this time I hope to update at least once a week and if I do, it will likely be on Wednesdays and Sundays.<strong>

**Fic Recs will start with chapter one!**


	2. Chapter One

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.**

**This fic is beta'd by SunflowerFran who saves me from embarrassing grammatical errors and is incredibly lovely.**

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><p>The music was so loud that I could feel the vibrations beneath my feet, making me squirm uncomfortably in the cheap plastic chair that was biting into my back.<p>

I regretted sitting outside, so close to the speakers. This had been the only chair I'd been able to find that hadn't been occupied, despite a few offers to sit on the laps of some guys that were passing around a joint thicker than my index finger.

I sighed quietly and brought my hand up to my mouth so that I could chew on my thumbnail. I looked around at everything that was happening, with the exception of the couples groping one another in the pool.

I didn't know why I'd let Rosalie drag me here. Well, I did, but I'd been regretting it since the moment I'd heard the sounds of Iggy Azalea.

Did I mention that I hated top forty music?

Rosalie had been my roommate freshman year, and despite my limited social skills and her extensive ones, we'd become close friends and had chosen to move out of the dorms and into an apartment during the summer after school had ended.

Despite her persistent asking, I'd managed to make it through both freshmen and sophomore year without attending one of her boyfriend's house parties. And to be honest, when she'd asked me again earlier today, Jacob's words had crept into my head and I had agreed before even realising what I'd done.

_You're boring Bella, I don't want to date someone who doesn't know how to have fun._

Jacob and I had been together since high school and he was the only reason I had stayed in Washington State for college. Because he'd asked, I had turned down two other offers on the east coast so that we could be together. And while I'd remained in Seattle over the break, working all summer, he'd gone back to our hometown and proceeded to have sex with my former friend.

_Leah gets me, _he'd said_, she understands what kind of needs I have. She isn't afraid to give me what I want and you won't even look at me when we have sex._

I didn't say much when he'd told me, finding that I felt more relieved than heart broken. I wouldn't have to pick him up from frat parties at three am anymore, or have his body heaving on top of mine clumsily while he licked at my neck like a golden retriever.

I hadn't been in love with Jacob for some time, but when he'd told me that he'd slept with Leah, one of my closest friends since birth, _her_ betrayal had been the one that had ripped my heart open.

I hadn't told him that a few days before summer break had begun, Leah had called me in tears because she'd been diagnosed with chlamydia.

Without even having to lift a finger, I'd gotten my revenge.

But then, as if to rub salt in my wound, her mother, Sue had started giving me grief because I'd been ignoring her since I'd found out.

_You need to forgive her and move on, Bella. _

She had said when she'd called me a week after I'd found out. _She loves you, she's apologised and you're causing unnecessary drama with your immaturity.__These things happen when you're an adult._

_No, Sue, _I'd replied_. These things happen when your boyfriend is a bastard and your best friend is a skank with no morals._

She hadn't taken it well.

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><p>"Bella!" Rosalie shouted over the music as she made her way through the throngs of people wearing brightly covered Hawaiian shirts that made my eyes hurt. I'd almost bailed when she'd told me that these fortnightly parties were themed, but had sucked it up when she'd smiled excitedly and presented me with a navy coloured sarong. She hadn't even protested when I'd worn a white, one piece beneath it instead of a bikini.<p>

She'd just laughed and offered to do my makeup.

"Hey!" I shouted back as she handed me a bottled drink. I pulled the lid off and tasted it hesitantly. I hadn't been around alcohol enough to know what I did and didn't like, but smiled when I the tangy lemon flavour hit my tongue. "This is good!"

"Are you having a good time?" she asked me, her blue eyes hopeful and I wished I could tell her that I was.

I shrugged, fidgeting with the label on the bottle, "Everyone is so … it's just a little intimidating," I told her. "And loud."

She frowned sadly at me, understanding my discomfort.

Despite finally agreeing to come out to one of these parties, I still wasn't that kind of girl. I was a homebody at heart. I would have had more fun if I'd stayed home and had spent the evening eating mac and cheese and watching Friends reruns. Holding out her hand, she crooked her long, crimson coloured fingernails, asking me to come along with her.

Taking her hand, she pulled me up from the deck chair and began pulling me through the crowd, her hand never leaving mine as we made our way into the house. It was quieter in here, despite the crowd, and I found my shoulders sinking in relief when I could no longer hear the words of the song playing in the backyard.

Rosalie and Emmett had been dating for two years now, having been childhood sweethearts until her family had moved her across the country. They'd lost touch, having only been fourteen at the time, but they'd run – quite literally – into each other the first week of classes and had been inseparable since. Like Rosalie, he was the kind of person who was the complete opposite of me; outgoing and confident, but he'd quickly come to understand that I wasn't a snob, just painfully shy. My introversion around Emmett had only lasted until the third time I'd walked into our dorm room to find he and Rosalie having sex on my desk. Our friendship had formed quickly after I'd screamed at him for putting his bare ass on the essay I'd been working on for two weeks.

"Taco Bell!" Emmett shouted when we made our way into to the small sitting room occupied by Emmett and his roommates, Alice and Jasper, as well as a few people I didn't know. Alice and Jasper had become good friends over the past year, both big supporters of my break up with Jacob.

They had another housemate, too. His name was Edward, and in the two years I'd been visiting their house, I'd never met him. I had been told by his cousin Alice that he wasn't very social and that, like me, he preferred being in a quiet corner to being the center of attention. It hadn't stopped my curiosity though, it had only fed my curiosity, causing me to spend an embarrassing amount of time thinking about the quiet guy on the third floor.

"Hey Em," I said, giving him a shy smile and sitting in an unoccupied love seat, draining the last of my drink. They had the radio playing in here, loud enough that I couldn't hear the rest of the party outside of the room but quiet enough that you could still talk without having to shout.

"She was moping in the backyard," Rosalie said, taking up her favourite seat – Emmett's lap.

Emmett smiled at me, his eyes shining with understanding, and not for the first time was I extremely grateful to have him in my life. He reminded me of my father; he was enormous and intimidating, but beneath the tough exterior was a fiercely loyal friend and protector.

"I wouldn't have been moping if forty people hadn't been singing along to _Pitbull_," I muttered in disgust, smiling in thanks when Alice leaned over to hand me another drink.

Jasper winked and his eyes glanced up at the ceiling. "You sound exactly like someone else we know."

"There was a _Lord of the Rings_ marathon on tonight. I should have just stayed home," I tell them, swallowing down half of my drink in a few seconds.

"Bella," Rose groaned, "You have them all on DVD."

"Yeah, but not the _extended_ versions," I told her, even though I was certain she didn't understand the significance of the extra footage.

She chuckled and smiled at me affectionately. I smiled back and finished my second drink, sinking into the comfortable couch as they all conversed around me. I didn't mind just sitting quietly while they all spoke. I listened to everything they said and answered when they asked me questions but I had always preferred being the observer to being observed.

I was a wallflower.

"Where's the bathroom?" I asked Alice quietly while Emmett and Jasper bickered backwards and forwards about an upcoming sporting event that I knew nothing about.

"There's one across the hall but I wouldn't use it right now. Guys tend to miss the bowl when they've had a few," she told me, shuddering at the thought. "But nobody is supposed to be on the second floor so the bathroom near the stairs leading up to the third floor should be empty. And clean."

I thanked her and made my way through the house, lifting my sarong as I made my way up the stairs, ensuring that I wouldn't trip and break my leg. The second floor was almost silent and I breathed a little easier when I found the staircase and then the bathroom.

I knocked on the door quietly, making sure that it was empty before I opened it, gasping at the sight that greeted me when my eyes adjusted to the light.

Three people were naked on the bathroom floor, all connected and writhing, their moans so loud I wondered how I hadn't heard them from outside of the door. However, my gasp must have registered over the sounds of pleasure, because one of the two men moved himself out from under a naked girl who looked as if she'd consumed more than alcohol. He stood up slowly, unsteady on bare feet and made his way to me. I stood still, my body frozen in shock.

He smiled as my eyes widened at the sight of his erection. He then pushed the door closed behind me before using his body to press me against it. His eyes were grey, almost colourless and blank, his pupils tiny black dots, confirming that the red-haired girl wasn't just drunk. My body shook as he ran his mouth over my collarbone, biting my skin roughly and I pushed and shoved against him when he ground his hard length against my stomach. "Aren't you just _sweet,_" he hissed into my ear before running his tongue over my cheek.

"Get off of me!" I screamed, finally finding my voice.

"No, I think you want this," he hissed, pushing into me further, his hands moving to pull off my sarong. A tear fell from the corner of my eye as I tried – and failed – to push him away from me again. Even inebriated he was so much stronger than me.

"James! Let her go!" the girl that had been on top of him when I entered said from behind, her hand on his shoulder and her bloodshot eyes wide.

"No Tory, it's so obvious how much she wants this. You can see it in her eyes," he said, turning his face to grin at the redhead before moving his attention back to me. He pushed his mouth to mine then and I fought the urge to throw up as he shoved his tongue into my mouth, not hesitating to bite down on it ... hard.

"Ah fuck!" he shouted as he drew back from me. A river of red was now running from his mouth, down his sweaty, bare chest. He levelled me with a glare that made my entire body shake before spitting at me, his blood splattering over my entire body.

I screamed and turned as he moved to trap me again, my hands shaking as I struggled to turn the door handle. Just then, the door flew open, barely missing me as it slammed into the wall. I didn't hesitate before pushing my way out, bumping into the person who'd probably just saved me from being raped.

I stumbled halfway up the stairs before my body collapsed in a sobbing heap, barely hearing the sounds of punches being thrown and people shouting before everything went silent. My sobbing subsided in the silence and I wiped the tears from my face, pulling back my hand to find that my tears were tinted pink by his blood.

My stomach flipped at the sight.

I didn't hear the sounds of the footsteps as they approached, but my entire body stiffened as I was lifted from the stairs by a strong pair of arms. They tightened around me as my body started shaking and I tried to move away, frightened that the man called James had come back to finish the job.

"Shh," a low, velvety voice whispered in my ear. "You're okay, I promise."

I took a deep breath then, and my eyes widened when I realised that this man was wearing clothes, and that we had just made our way into a part of the house that I'd never seen before.

Edward's room.

"Edward?" I asked, my voice cracking with each syllable. I felt him nod as he continued to carry me through the room and into the bathroom. He lowered me to sit on the lid of the toilet, letting me go before he sank to his knees in front of me.

"Are you okay?" he asked and I lifted my head to look at his face, almost gasping at my first sight of him. I'd heard from Rosalie that he was attractive, but it hadn't prepared me for the intensity of his jade eyes or the shock of his perfectly, angled face. His face was dusted with a few days' worth of dark stubble that served to emphasise the strong line of his jaw.

"The blood," I managed to choke out, turning my attention back to the streaks of red dotting my face and swimsuit.

"You can use the shower to wash it off," he offered and I nodded shakily, refusing to look into his eyes again. He rose from the floor to turn the water on and almost immediately, steam started filling the room as he turned to leave.

I untied my sarong, dropping it to the floor. I moved under the hot water, watching as the blood stained the water orange around my feet as it washed away from my body. I could feel the nausea in my body receding as it ran down the drain.

With shaking hands, I move to pick up a bottle of shampoo, crying out in frustration when it fell from my hands to the floor. The door opened then, and I looked up to see Edward hesitantly poking his head inside, relief in his eyes when he noticed that I wasn't naked. He looked at me with concern in his eyes and I felt my cheeks heat in embarrassment. "I'm sorry," I whispered, feeling completely helpless.

His expression was cautious as he made his way inside the bathroom, leaning down to pick the shampoo up before handing it back to me. I clutched it to my chest, willing my hands to stop shaking. "Do you need help?" his words were soft and I found myself nodding, my body feeling faint, from both James' touch and the sight of the blood.

I didn't look as he took off his shirt, but my body was entirely conscious of his as he moved into the shower stall behind me. It seemed to me that his body heat had warmed me more than the temperature of the water. Reaching around to my front, he carefully pried the bottle from my fingertips, squirting some into his hands before he began to lather my hair.

"Thank you," I whispered as he massaged my scalp, washing the last of the blood from my body.

I said nothing as he rinsed the shampoo from my hair trying to resist the urge to lean against his body. When I turned and looked up, I found myself completely blindsided by his green eyes. He looked at me softly, lifting his hand to run his thumb across my cheek where James had licked me, wiping away the memory before he moved his arm around me to turn off the water.

He stepped out of the stall and grabbed a few towels, wrapping one around his hips before he reached under it to pull off his soaked shorts and underwear. I blushed as they hit the ground with a wet thud. Then he moved back over to me, wrapping one around my shoulders and turning me around to where my back faced his front so he could run the towel through my wet hair.

His gentleness struck me hard and I sighed softly as he continued to dry my hair, wondering how in the world I'd been to this house so many times and had never seen him before.

When he finished he left the room, returning with a large shirt and a pair of boxer briefs before leaving again, this time shutting the door behind him. I blushed as I pulled off my bathing suit and slid into the white, Calvin Klein underwear, my mind wandering to the fact that they'd now touched the most intimate places on both of our bodies. I chastised myself for the thought immediately, my cheeks flaming.

His scent engulfed me after I'd pulled on his shirt, and I found myself inhaling deeply at the masculine fragrance. Jacob had worn Brut since he'd turned fifteen and the scent of it had made me nauseous towards the end of our relationship. I'd scrubbed at my flesh until was red and raw after we'd broken up, until the smell was finally gone from my skin.

I opened the bathroom door after hanging my bathing suit over the claw-foot tub, my heartbeat racing as I stepped into the unfamiliar room. He stood between the bedroom and what seemed to be the living room, his gaze flying to mine when he heard me enter. He then pointed to the phone at his ear and mouthed _Rosalie._

I had nodded in response before I walked over to the couch, my eyes widening when I noticed what he'd been watching. The opening credits for _The Return of the King_ played quietly across the screen and I smiled at him as he replied to Rosalie with short, clipped answers.

He didn't like talking, I surmised that as he ran his hands through his hair in exasperation, and guilt settled in the pit of my stomach at the thought of me causing his discomfort. "I'm sorry," I whispered when he hung up the phone, standing from where I'd sat, fidgeting nervously. "You helped me out and I imposed on your night. I didn't mean for that to happen."

My gaze was trained on the floor, my bottom lip tucked between my teeth when he moved closer, his hand lifting my chin, forcing my gaze to meet his. "It's okay, Bella."

His voice was soft and deep, wrapping around me like a velvet blanket and my heartbeat stuttered pathetically in response. "You know my name," I replied, shock coursing through me.

He smiled a little, one side of his mouth pulling up a fraction higher than the other. "I've seen you here before," he told me.

"I haven't seen you."

"I know." He smiled wider, catching me off guard when it hit me, something that I'd never experienced so intensely before - not even with Jacob.

Lust.

He moved his hand from my chin but continued to look at me for a few seconds before he sat down on the black leather couch. You can stay," he said, turning his attention from the television, to me. "If you want."

I didn't waste any time before I was seated on the opposite end of the couch, trying desperately to lose myself in middle earth only to be distracted by the quiet man a few feet away. I tucked my legs under me, my fingers playing nervously with a loose thread on the well-worn shirt he'd given me, the one I'd pulled down to cover most of my thighs.

"Bella," he said after twenty minutes of silence. I looked up from the television to find his gaze trained to where my fingers were tapping on the edge of the sofa.

"I'm sorry," I whispered for what seemed like the tenth time that night, heat flooding my cheeks. I was embarrassed at my reaction to this man. I had seen plenty of handsome guys on campus before, yet here I was, acting like a starry-eyed teen towards someone I'd just met.

He said nothing in reply and moved so quickly that he took the breath out of me. A second later I was sideways across his lap, his arms around me and his body warmth bringing feeling back to my numb limbs.

I wasn't sure what the hell I was doing.

I wasn't this kind of girl.

The one who cuddled up to a guy as soon as she'd met him. I was the girl who thought everything through, who weighed up the options and made lists of pros and cons before I made a decision. It had taken Jacob two years of begging for me to finally go on a date with him. And now, in less than an hour of knowing Edward, I found myself nuzzled into his side, wearing nothing but his shirt and underwear, more content than I'd ever been before.

I wasn't conscious that I'd been running my hand along his arm. But when I heard him wince as my index finger brushed along his knuckle, I looked up at him in shock before I realised what had happened. I lifted his hand, studying the forming bruises and split skin from having hit someone - multiple times.

"You washed my hair with your hand like this, it must have hurt," I whispered, guilt deep in the pit of my stomach. He shrugged with indifference, watching me while I studied his cuts, his heartbeat picking up pace against my ribcage as I lifted his hand to my mouth, laying gentle kisses on each of his fingers. "I'm sorry that you hurt yourself for me."

He moved his hand until once again both of his arms were wrapped around me, my face resting against his chest. "I'm not," he whispered into my hair and I buried my head deeper into his chest to hide my smile.

The steady rhythm of his heart against my ear lulled me into unconsciousness long before the movie ended; his arms wrapped around me and his chin resting on the top of my head.

That was the first night I dreamt of Edward Cullen.

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><p><strong>Back with fic recs for you!<strong>

**Thicker than Water by twistedcoincidence.**

_**Sisters have a special bond, stronger than friendship, more sacred than a significant other. Bella has always been the perfect big sister, then again, her sister has never possessed something so appealing.**_

**This only has about 600 reviews but it needs more, so give the author some love!**


	3. Chapter Two

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight. **

**Beta'd by SunflowerFran, who I am endlessly grateful for.**

**Hello to all of my new readers and those from my previous fic; Stealing Bella!**

**Reviews are love. **

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><p>I'm not sure what woke me from my sleep, but there was a good chance it was the feeling of having someone else's body in such close proximity to mine. Sometime between falling asleep and being woken, Edward had carried me to the bed and had fallen into unconsciousness beside me.<p>

I'd learned early on in my relationship with Jacob that I didn't like sharing a bed – at least not with him. I'd hated how his knee would try to wedge itself between my legs and how he snored so loudly it would pull me from what little sleep I'd managed to get. As I result, I'd spent the first few weeks after we'd started sleeping together staying awake, pressing my knee into his back and playing on the fact that he knew I talked in my sleep. I'd acted forlorn when he'd suggested discontinuing our sleepovers but had agreed with him, doing what was best for our relationship.

Sleeping with Edward Cullen had been entirely different.

We hadn't made it beneath his duvet, our bodies lying tangled over the top of it; one of my legs wedged between his, the other thrown over his thigh. The contrast between my smooth skin and the soft hair covering his legs made me blush. His hand rested on my hip, his palm spread out over my bare flesh beneath his shirt. The skin to skin contact feeling more intimate than any of the times Jacob had pushed his way inside of my body.

My skin flushed as my body began to react to his proximity, my cheeks darkening with embarrassment when I realised that my hand was fisted into the fabric of his t-shirt, resting directly over his heart.

I looked up then and a small gasp escaped my lips when my eyes met his. Shining, bottle green stared back at me, just barely illuminated by the soft yellow light coming from a lamp across the room.

I let go of his shirt with numb fingers and moved to pull my legs away from his when I felt his hand stroking the skin over my hip, calloused fingertips leaving trails of fire upon my flesh. Opening his palm over the small of my back, he pulled me close until our chests touched and our hearts pounded against one another.

I could feel him against my stomach, hard and hot and my body flooded with warmth in response.

He glanced at my lips and I licked them in response, lifting my hand to the soft hair at the nape of his neck as I reclined my head to meet his lips.

My heart sank into my chest when Edward dropped a soft kiss on my forehead and pulled away from me.

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><p>"Are you okay, Bella?" Rosalie asked her voice full of concern. She'd knocked on the door to Edward's bedroom moments after he'd pulled away from me to say that she and Emmett were going back to our apartment and that they would drive me there.<p>

I lifted my head from the cool car window, pulling my gaze away from the bright, crescent moon and look up to find her twisted around so that she could face me, eyes filled with concern.

"Would it be bad for me to say that I haven't really thought about it? It happened so fast and I just … It doesn't feel real, you know? You hear about that kind of stuff on the news all the time, but you never expect it to happen. I don't know what I would have done if Edward hadn't come; that guy was dangerous." My voice was calm and I found that I was too caught up in thoughts of jade eyes to think about Jame.

"You should have seen what Edward did to him. He won't be able to hurt anyone again anytime soon," Emmett said, chuckling darkly. I grimaced, remembering his bruised and bloodied knuckles.

"I just want to forget it ever happened," I told them. And I did. I wanted to forget all about James and the ache in my upper arms from where he'd grabbed me. I wanted to forget about his vacant stare and the taste of cheap beer on his tongue.

However, I didn't want to forget about Edward Cullen.

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><p>It was well after five am before I gave up on the notion of getting any sleep. I abandoned my bed in favour of the roof of our apartment building. My eyes were red and tired as I watched the sun rise; illuminating the sky in soft pinks and oranges that I captured on my phone. Minutes later the picture was on Instagram captioned <em>a new day<em> despite the fact that I couldn't seem to get the previous one out of my head.

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><p>I spent the day baking, making tray after tray of triple, chocolate chip cookies until the bench is covered and I'm out of necessary ingredients.<p>

I asked Emmett which ones Edward liked. I had always brought over baked goods for them in the past, with a separate container for Edward that I received back, washed and empty, every single time. He always left a small Post-It tacked onto the lid with the words _thank you_ written in handwriting so elegant that I envied it.

Emmett left around lunchtime with an amused smile and two containers filled with cookies— one of them covered in yellow Post-Its, each of them reading the same two words in my messy scrawl.

_Thank you._

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><p>Monday was spent in class, barely paying attention. I drifted from classroom to classroom, half of me there and the other half remembering how it felt to be in Edward Cullen's arms.<p>

When I opened my notebook after dinner, I don't find the class notes I could have sworn that I wrote. Instead, I find page after page filled with passages describing his eyes, the way they looked at me, and how they made me feel.

I blushed furiously, tearing out the pages. I moved to throw them in the trash but found that I couldn't. With a small sigh, I shoved them inside of my journal and then tucked it under my pillow, determined to forget about it.

I don't.

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><p>I spend the rest of the week forcing myself to pay attention in classes. I pretend that my heart doesn't skip a beat every time I see a flash of bronze hair across the quad or in the cafeteria line<span>,<span> but it does.

I had read and reread the pages I'd written on Monday and by the time Wednesday hits I begin to question if I dreamed the almost kiss. I'd been with Jacob for years and hadn't felt even a fraction of the lust that had coursed through my veins in the few moments before we'd been interrupted. The more I went over what I'd penned, the more unrealistic the whole thing seemed.

_He looked at me and his eyes were shining a deep, glistening jade. I wanted to squirm under his gaze__,__ but I couldn't move, my body frozen in shock. And even if I had wanted to, I knew that I wouldn't have; I'd wanted him to move a little closer, to press his mouth to mine. I wondered what his lips would taste like and how his facial hair would feel against my cheek, my stomach, the inside of my thighs._

I closed my notebook aggressively, pushing it away before I lifted my fingers to my temples, willing myself to forget the words.

To no avail.

I'd spent mere hours in Edward Cullen's company and he'd only spoken a handful of words to me.

But he'd saved me from a horrible fate. One that would have changed me irrevocably and then he'd helped me; had washed my hair and stroked my cheek and I couldn't close my eyes without seeing his.

Rosalie tried to talk to me about it, but every time she mentioned it I withdrew into myself. Not because of James, and what he'd tried to do, but because I couldn't talk to her about what had nearly happened between Edward and I. I liked keeping those hours we'd spent together to myself. Just the way I liked wearing his shirt to bed, the soft material more comfortable than any of the ratty old shirts I usually wore when sleeping.

I knew I'd have to give it back, and I would, but I wasn't quite ready to give up the safety I felt enveloped in his scent.

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><p>"What's wrong with you?" Rosalie asked on Friday afternoon after I'd come back from the library, dropping my bag next to the apartment door and falling onto the couch with a thud.<p>

"Nothing," I mumbled, my voice cracking.

"Bullshit." She muted the television and then turned to face me before giving me the bitch brow.

I sighed and tugged at the hem of my shirt, my fingers shaking. "I saw him."

"Saw who?"

I bit my lip, contemplating lying to her, but I knew she wouldn't let it go. "Jacob."

Rosalie groaned. "Fuck, I hate him so much. Did he say anything?"

"He said he heard about what had happened on the weekend … He said _I didn't think you'd ever thaw out enough to have sex with someone with tastes like James._ Rose, he made it sound like I'd wanted it and that I couldn't handle it so I freaked out. That's what James is telling people and they're believing him. Then he said that _since you're expanding my horizons now, I might be willing to give you a second chance_." There were tears in my eyes and rage in my best friend's at this point. Jacob's words had been harsh, accusing and tormenting and his eyes had raked over my body with a leer that had made my stomach turn.

"That fucking asshole," she seethed, jumping up from the couch and grabbing her phone. "I'm calling Emmett, he'll sort the fuckers out."

I shook my head. "Please don't. It'll just make more people talk about it and they'll ask questions and I just…Please don't, Rose."

She sighed and frowned softly at me. Dropping her phone on the coffee table, she sat down on the couch and pulled me into a hug that relieved some of the anxiety that seemed to be swallowing me whole. "I won't but it isn't going to be long before he finds out B."

I sniffled and pulled away from her. "I know."

She smiled then, a sly glint in her tiffany blue eyes. "It isn't really Emmett you have to be worried about though. Edward's going to flip his lid when he finds out."

I pretended that the knowledge meant little to me, despite the fact that my heart was racing just at the mention of his name and I forced my face to be blank. "Why would he care?"

"Oh, sweetie," she said with a small giggle. "You can't pretend there wasn't something there. I saw the way you looked at him."

I swallowed, looking away. "He's not what I expected," I admit.

Rosalie grinned at me then, all perfect teeth and red lips. "They never are."

* * *

><p><strong>Next chapter will be here in a couple days hopefully, as this one was short and transitional. I'm aiming for two before Christmas. <strong>

**Fic Rec: **

**Outbound by aftrnoondlight **

_**Two beautiful souls humbly traveling life's lonely path, until fate suddenly shows her hand. Will Edward and Bella surrender willingly... A tender, romantic tale of love and life in the clouds.**_


	4. Chapter Three

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.**

**Beta'd by SunflowerFran!**

**HAPPY NEW YEAR! I'm sorry this was late, I've had a very busy couple of weeks!**

* * *

><p>I sat on the stairs leading to the third floor.<p>

My knuckles were white under the pressure of holding onto the bag containing his freshly washed clothes, all evidence of my scent from wearing it to bed all week gone.

I'd been sitting here for over twenty minutes, having made it halfway up the stairs before I freaked out and sank down, leaning with my back against the wall. My eyes were closed as my ears strained to listen to the music coming from the crack under the door on which I was too terrified to knock.

I opened my eyes and looked down at my watch. It was bordering on ten o'clock and I was no closer to finding the courage to move. My knuckles were white under the pressure of holding on too tightly to the bag containing his freshly washed clothes; all evidence of my scent from wearing them to bed all week, gone

I sighed softly and rubbed my eyes.

I'd had a hard time sleeping after I'd gone to bed last night, Rose's words running through my head over and over. She was right and it scared me. Edward wasn't like any of the other guys I'd ever met. I'd never been as attracted to someone as I was to him.

I felt like a moth; utterly helpless to do anything but move closer to the flame. It scared me how intensely I felt, after feeling numb for so long.

I was so deep in thought that I missed the sound of the door opening. "Bella?"

I looked up to find him his silhouette in the doorway. Light spilled into the stairwell and I closed my eyes tightly for a moment while they adjusted to the brightness.

"Yeah, it's me."

I stood slowly, trying to make it look like my knees weren't shaking uncontrollably, but they were.

"I came to give you your stuff back but … I don't know, I chickened out. I'm not really sure why, though. I probably should have given them to Emmett to give to you but I really wanted to say thank you so I came myself. But then I went to knock on your door and I-I just got really freaking nervous," I babbled, my cheeks burning by the time I finished. I forced my legs to move up the remaining steps and thrust the bag at him, being careful to avoid his gaze for fear of losing what little semblance of sanity I had left.

"Bella," he said as I began to walk away. I stopped, my heart pounding in my ears and slowly turned back to face him. My eyes widened in shock as I took in the small smile on his face. "Do you wanna come up? I'm only studying, but I wouldn't mind the company."

His question shocked me, and for a second, I remained silent.

Was he only asking me because he felt sorry for me?

Or was it because he actually wanted my company?

"Sure." The word slipped from my mouth before my inner monologue could finish. He smiled then, that same half-smile he'd graced me with the week before and I found myself letting go of my doubts and smiling back at him.

I entered his room, surprised to find it well lit, unlike the singular lamp that had been on the week before. And on the coffee table were opened textbooks and a notepad that I knew would hold page upon page of elegant handwriting.

"It's really nice up here," I told him, my eyes wide as I took in everything I'd failed to notice the week before – like the overflowing bookcase that took up an entire length of wall beside the makeshift living room.

"I like it," he replied and I turned around to find him leaning on the wall beside me, ankles crossed, hands in his pockets and a smirk that made my knees weak.

My heart stuttered.

I looked away, trying to hide the blush I knew was bright on my cheeks. Inhaling deeply, I moved around his room, my eyes memorising the names on the well-worn spines of the books flooding from his shelves. I felt his gaze on me as I ran my fingertips over the titles, but each time I looked up, he'd be looking elsewhere.

"Read many of these?" I asked after a few moments of silence.

"All of them."

My eyes widened in shock and I turned to look at him, pushing away the questions threatening to spill from my lips. "All of them?"

He smirked. "Every single one."

I whistled low, impressed … and a little aroused. Jacob's experience with literature hadn't reached any further than reading cliff notes the night before exams … And he'd even refused to read Harry Potter. That's what the movies are for Iz, he'd told me. "Wow."

"You read a lot," he said then, "I don't think I've ever seen you without a book in your hand."

I bit my lip and moved my gaze away from his, overwhelmed at the intensity.

He exhaled deeply. "That probably sounded so fucking creepy, I'm really sorry."

"I don't think it's creepy." I didn't move my gaze back to his. Instead, I kept my eyes trained on a worn copy of The Deathly Hallows, determined not to let him see the emotion I was sure was apparent on my face. "It's just … people don't usually notice me."

"I do," he said, his voice steady.

I shook my head. "I don't know why," I told him.

And it was true.

I didn't know why he'd notice me. Never in my life had I been anything but ordinary. I had never been more than average, both in looks and intelligence. I'd never lived up to the name my parents had given me – had never even been close – and it had weighed on me more than I would care to admit.

"Your favourite book is Wuthering Heights." I looked up at him, my mouth gaping open and my eyes wide. "I read it after the third time I saw you with it."

"I hated it," he said, shaking his head and smiling a little. "The characters … they frustrated me."

"That's part of the reason I like it so much," I admit. "They're so infuriating and stupid and real, but each time I read it, it gave me something."

"You said gave," he pointed out, still looking at the ground.

I gave him a wry smile and thought about why I hadn't felt the need to pick it up in a couple of months. "The last time I read it, I came to realise why I'd kept reading it, over and over. The book had been giving me something I realised I wasn't getting in my own love life."

He looked up then, his eyes met mine and I could see the questions written in emerald. "What was it?"

"Passion," I told him.

* * *

><p>"You're staring," he said without looking up from the textbook he appeared to be immersed him.<p>

"I am," I agreed and discarded the Harry Potter book I'd been badly pretending to read for more than an hour.

He looked up, jade eyes twinkling with amusement. "Why are you staring at me?"

"I'm trying to figure you out."

He shook his head and rolled his eyes before looking back down at his book. "There's nothing to figure out."

I huffed and looked away from him, frustrated.

My entire life I had prided myself on the fact that I could read people, that I could sit in a window of a café and tell you all about why the guy in the corner has red eyes and a busted lip. It's why I had been completely unsurprised when Jacob confessed he'd cheated on me.

"I think you're wrong."

I felt his gaze on me then and looked up to find him staring at me, an indecipherable and almost threatening look on his face. "I'm not, Bella. You shouldn't bother wasting any time realising that." His tone was emotionless and I struggled not to flinch at the coldness suddenly emanating from him.

I looked away then, frustrated and confused.

Where was the guy who had busted the skin of his knuckles open defending me? And the one who had held me, his arms keeping me from falling apart? In the past few minutes, Edward had shown me an entirely different side of him. No longer were his eyes warm and his voice welcoming …

He was just cold.

It didn't deter me though. If anything, it made me want to know him more.

Edward Cullen was a mystery that I became determined to solve.

* * *

><p>"So let me get this straight," Rosalie said, channel surfing in front of the television as we lounged in our rattiest clothes the following morning, bowls of cereal on perched on our laps. "You went to give him his clothes back, he invited you to stay and hang out while he studied and you spent most of the time ignoring each other."<p>

I groaned. "We didn't ignore each other Rose … we just didn't talk." We hadn't said anything after he warned me off, or whatever it was he did. He'd mumbled a goodbye to me when I'd left and I'd felt hurt as I walked out of the house and over to my car. However, when I looked up at his window before I drove away, I'd seen him standing at his window, looking down me. He'd only given me a small wave but I'd had to smother a grin in response while I waved back.

I'd driven away beaming, my heart pounding in my chest and hope blooming from my belly. I realized that even though he'd warned me away, there was no denying the fact that there was something between Edward and me.

She rolled her eyes and without any sense of lady-like manners, shovelled a spoonful of Froot Loops into her mouth. "I don't know what to tell you. There just wasn't a lot to say and he isn't exactly forthcoming about anything. And even if I wanted to ask, he's really intimidating."

She scoffed loudly. "How is he intimidating?"

"I don't know he has this strong, silent, mysterious thing going on."

"He's fucking hot Bella, you can say it."

I groaned. "Ugh, you're relentless!"

"You haven't had sex with anyone for like eight months, Bella. And even then, Jacob was a total snooze-fest. You need a good long fuck, and you have great chemistry with this guy, so why don't you give in to your lady boner and let him ravish you?"

"Ravish me? What the fuck, Rose? I barely know this guy!" I knew I would though if the opportunity came about. There was no denying my attraction to Edward Cullen. And for the first time in my life I wanted to take a risk, to be that girl that had sex with a guy because she liked the way he looked and not because she'd already been on five dates with him.

"That's the point! If the sex is bad, you won't have to worry about ever seeing him again!" She exclaimed then gave me a sly smile and wagged her eyebrows.

"You're horrible." I pushed away my soggy cereal and stole the remote from the coffee table before flicking through channels. I was determined to find something interesting enough to pull my attention away from a certain green-eyed Adonis. "This conversation is over."

"When you fuck him, expect a big fat 'I told you so'," she said.

"We aren't going to have sex!" I hissed back.

She didn't believe my words and I prayed for the sake of my battery operated boyfriend that they weren't true.

* * *

><p><strong>Expect an update before or on Sunday!<strong>


	5. Chapter Four

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.**

**Thank you to SunflowerFran, for beta'ing!**

* * *

><p>"Bella," a soft voice said, rousing me from dreams of being intimately touched by a certain green-eyed, bronze-haired Adonis.<p>

"This better be life or death," I mumbled, rubbing my eyes and sitting up, already missing the sensual intimacy of my dream. Rosalie stood over the couch looking down at me with concern in her eyes.

"You're napping. You never nap. Are you sick?" she asked, the worry in her tone washing away all frustration at the fact that she'd pulled me from my dream.

I ran my hand through my hair, still thrown up in the messy ponytail we were required to wear at the small bookstore-slash-café where I worked. "I'm not sick, but Peter was, so he stayed home and Liam refused to call in a replacement because he's the biggest cheapskate in Washington State. If I had a dollar for every time he complained about me taking last week off, I wouldn't have needed to even go to work today."

Rosalie chuckled and shook her head. She had worked there alongside of me for all of freshmen year until Liam had drunkenly grabbed her ass and tried to make a move on her at the employee Christmas party. She refused to sue him on the condition that all employees received a pay rise and three extra sick days. Everyone at work considered her a goddess. "I don't miss working for him at all."

I groaned and moved away from the couch, in desperate need of a shower and clothes that didn't smell like coffee. "Yeah well, it keeps me on my toes."

She followed me into the bathroom, sitting on the closed lid of the toilet while I made my way over to the mirror. "I don't know why you still even work there. We both know you don't need the money."

"I'd go crazy if I had all of that spare time," I told her honestly as I pulled my hair out of its confines and attempted to pull a brush through it. She was right though, in no way did I need the money. But Charlie had drilled, the importance of being responsible with money to me at a young age, and despite the fact it wasn't necessary, I still liked earning it.

"Speaking of spare time, we're having pizza and drinks at Em's tonight," she said, wagging her eyebrows suggestively.

"You never give up, do you?" I groaned.

She beamed. "I just wanna see you get your groove on, B!"

"If I come, you can never say _'get your groove on'_ ever again. Understood?"

She gave me a sloppy salute and wink before she left the bathroom. "We're leaving in thirty minutes!"

* * *

><p>"You gonna go talk to him?" Alice asked me when, she, Rosalie and I were finally alone. They'd discreetly ordered Emmett and Jasper to go pick up the pizza and alcohol.<p>

"Talk to who?" I asked, shoving a pretzel in my mouth in hopes that she wouldn't ask more questions.

"My cousin, Edward Cullen. Part-time college student, full-time recluse." She lifted her brow and gave me a look so knowing that I was forced to look away.

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

Rosalie snorted. "Fuck off, B. Don't act like you haven't been thinking about doing the deed with him every fucking day since you met him."

"Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?" I inquired dryly, desperately trying to avoid the topic.

"You bet your fucking ass I do! Tell Alice what you told me," she ordered and I groaned.

"He's … Attractive," I relented. Understatement of the year.

"She has an affection erection for him," Rose stated bluntly and I buried my face in my hands.

"An _affection erection?_ How the hell do you come up with that kind of stuff?" Alice inquired, her eyes watering with the force of her laughter.

"_Tumblr_."

"Can we please just stop talking about this and never speak of it again?" I asked, praying they would drop it. I wasn't as confident as either of them were and while I did like Edward, I was still rattled by what he'd said last Saturday.

They both looked apologetic at my tone, realizing they'd made me feel uncomfortable.

"Sorry, Bella," Alice said. "It's just, Edward doesn't really let anyone up there. Like ever. I'm his cousin and I've seen less of his room than you have."

I blushed then, and felt a little guilty for not sharing details. I'd only given Rose the bare minimum, but I knew Edward was a private person and while we hadn't done anything, the time we spent together still felt intimate. I was worried that if I told them everything, it wouldn't feel the same.

"I'm sorry, Ali." She smiled me a half-smile that I realized was a trait she shared with her cousin.

"Don't be," she told me sincerely and I smiled back at her. I heard a car pull into the driveway and sighed with relief. I knew this conversation would come up again, even if I had bought myself some more time.

* * *

><p>We all sat around the oversized coffee table in the living room, pizza boxes open and drinks in our hand. Jasper had given me a bottle of pear cider, and while I hadn't liked it as much as the drink I'd had <em>that night<em>, I'd been able to drink it without any problem.

We'd been laughing at Emmett having to lean back and undo a button on his jeans when Edward walked into the room. He said nothing as he sunk down onto the floor between Alice and me before picking up, and taking a bite out of a slice of my cheese pizza.

"Emmett, I bought you a pair of pants for your birthday specifically so we wouldn't have to deal with you unbuttoning your jeans every night at dinner," Edward teased, breaking the silence.

I said nothing, too shocked to talk.

In all the time I'd been coming here, not once had he come down to have dinner with us while I'd been present. And while the beat of my heart picked up at his close proximity, I was still too confused by our conversation on Saturday to be happy about seeing him.

"What pants?" Rosalie enquired, doing what the rest of us couldn't; act normal.

Emmett pulled a face and Edward grinned devilishly and chuckled. "Go put them on," he told Emmett, who shook his head, but lifted himself from the floor and left the room.

No one said anything during the time he was gone, all of us eating and drinking quietly, pretending as if there wasn't any awkward tension in the room. I felt his eyes on me, but I refused to look his way.

"Holy fuck!" Rosalie screeched as Emmett entered the room again. I looked up and nearly broke a rib with the force of my laugh.

"Are those maternity pants?" Rosalie asked and I laughed harder because they definitely were. They were like every pair of sweatpants I'd ever seen Em wear but these sagged noticeably around his waist and hips.

"Custom made," Edward said and I looked up to see him grinning proudly. He threw me a wink and I frowned and looked away.

His mood swings were giving me whiplash.

"How did I not know about these?" Rosalie asked, wiping away tears.

"Because they're horrendous," Emmett whined.

"They're hilarious," Jasper injected, making a pregnant belly motion with his hands. That motion caused Emmett to huff, stamp his foot and leave the room in such feminine way that had us laughing all over again.

"You deserve a freaking award for getting him those pants, Edward," Rosalie said, her laughter finally dying down.

He grinned and stole another piece of my pizza.

"I know."

Emmett came back into the room a few minutes later, having traded the maternity sweats for a pair of basketball shorts. "Let's play truth or dare," he suggested, picking up a beer and wagging his eyebrows.

We all groaned. "That's so juvenile, Em."

"Too chicken, Cullen?" he asked, sounding more like a fifteen-year-old boy than a twenty-two-year old man. Alice narrowed her eyes at him and I knew that we would be playing. Alice never backed down from a challenge. She'd once competed in a pie eating contest that had resulted in projectile vomit and my inability to even look at cherries without turning green in remembrance.

"Everyone gets one veto. If you refuse to do one, you have to wear Emmett's pants in a photo that will be permanently taped to the refrigerator. Agreed?" Alice asked and while we all knew it wouldn't end well, we all agreed.

* * *

><p>Three drinks later, my head was starting to feel light and I'd cried with laughter at Emmett's surprisingly amazing rendition of Beyonce's <em>Single Ladies<em> dance and his revenge on Jasper, forcing him to spend the rest of the night talking with an incredibly accurate Swedish accent. Both Alice and Rosalie had been asked a list of embarrassing sexual questions and I'd used my veto when Emmett had asked me how long Jacob's penis was. Edward had informed us that he'd had sex with three different people and that the first time he had sex, he'd blown his load before he'd even pushed the whole thing in. I'd been forced to tell them about Charlie arresting me at sixteen, for breaking my curfew to makeout with Tyler Crowley in the back of his mother's minivan. Also I got to grab Rosalie's breasts, courtesy of Emmett.

"Truth or dare, Bella?" Rosalie asked a wicked glint in her eye that made me shift uncomfortably.

"Truth," I said, thinking it would be the safest option. Rosalie was not above daring me to stick my tongue down Edward's throat like a fifteen-year-old.

"What was the most amount of times Jacob ever made you come in one night?" she asked, smirking at me as my face grew red.

"Hedidntgivemeany," I mumbled, looking down at the half-empty bottle in my hand.

"What was that?" Alice asked and I turned even redder.

"He didn't give me any," I said quietly.

Not once in our relationship had Jacob attempted to bring me to orgasm. He'd never done anything more than touch me to check if I was wet before pushing into me and thrusting a few times before he was done. I wasn't sure I even knew what foreplay was.

"None?!" Rose asked and I looked up to see her looking at me, eyes wide with shock. "He never made you come?"

"Never," I sighed bitterly. I'd been responsible for my own orgasms since I'd turned sixteen and realized that if I moved my fingers in a particular way and used _just _the right amount of pressure that something spectacular would happen.

"I didn't think it was possible for me to hate the little weasel more than I already did, but I was wrong," Emmett said, shaking his head in disgust. "You're supposed to take care of your woman."

Everyone concurred with Emmett's statement with an amen.

"Wait, Bella. Has _anyone_ ever given you an orgasm before?" Alice asked with unconcealed curiosity. I wanted the floor to open up beneath me and swallow me whole.

"Just me," I said, shrugging. I looked over to Edward, who was looking at me with an intense and unreadable expression on his face. I licked my bottom lip and I watched his pupils dilate before I shifted my gaze elsewhere.

"Wow," Alice said, shaking her head. "What a fucking idiot."

I chuckled and nodded my head, wishing I hadn't vetoed and had told them just how he'd been so small that he hadn't even broken my hymen the first time we'd had sex.

Or the second.

"Rose! Truth or dare?" I asked, changing the subject.

* * *

><p>"Can I talk to you quickly?" Edward asked as we started packing up. It was past midnight and my buzz had worn off, but I was still thankful I didn't have any early classes the following morning.<p>

"Sure," I said, avoiding the nosey stares of Alice and Rosalie as I followed Edward out of the room and into the hallway.

He said nothing for a few second, just swept his gaze over my face before running his hands through his hair in frustration. "I'm an idiot," he said finally, his gaze not meeting mine.

"I shouldn't have warned you off like that the other night and I'm sorry if I upset you. You're just such a fucking good person Bella and I don't want to be the reason that changes."

Confusion swept over me and I opened my mouth, struggling to come up with a reply that wouldn't make me sound pathetic, but he spoke again before I could.

"I know I helped you that night. But fuck if I wasn't fully prepared to kiss you hours after someone had attempted to sexually assault you. I'm not a good person Bella," he looked at me while he told me this and I hated the desolation in his eyes while he spoke.

"I wanted you to kiss me," I blurt out, surprising us both.

"What?"

"That night, in your bed, I wanted you to kiss me," I told him, sounding a hundred times more confident than I felt. "What happened with James was really freaking shitty and I'm endlessly grateful that you were there to help when you did, but I'm still the same person I was before it happened. I'm not scarred or broken and I wanted you to kiss me."

He nodded and we both stood there in awkward silence for a minute, avoiding each other's gaze until Rosalie walked out and told me that our cab had arrived. I'd muttered a goodbye to him and started walking away when he'd grabbed my hand, pulling me to a stop. I turned back to look at him, surprised to find that crooked smile on his face again.

"For what it's worth, I think Jacob's an idiot for not trying to make you come. I bet you'd look beautiful when you fell apart," he said, before dropping my hand and turning away, leaving me with weak knees and wet panties.

I blushed the whole drive home.

* * *

><p><strong>Fic Rec: <strong>

**The Other Side of the Fence by Edward's Eternal. (Have the biggest girl crush on her writing)**

_**He hides to protect those he loves, she hides because that is all she knows. Isolation is a way of life for both of them. Two neighbours. All that separates them is a fence. Who knows what waits on the other side? Can they be strong enough to find out?**_


	6. Chapter Five

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.**

**Beta'd by SunflowerFran!**

**I'm sorry this is so late, the next chapter has already been sent out to be beta'd and I'm currently writing the next, so you won't have to wait so long next time.**

* * *

><p>There had always been something comforting about the rain. Growing up in the wettest place in the continental U.S. you would think that I'd be completely tired of seeing grey clouds and buying umbrellas, but I wasn't. Even after nearly twenty years of the same weather, I still loved seeing rain-fogged mirrors, hearing it as it landed on the pavement around me and smelling the air just before it fell from the sky.<p>

I'd always thought that there was something incredibly intimate about the rain, the way it pushed people together and forced them to spend the day indoors watching old movies and huddling together for warmth.

I'd been sitting on the plush, ivory carpet of my bedroom floor on Saturday, following the game of Truth or Dare. I was watching the rain hit my floor-to-ceiling window when my phone buzzed beside my socked feet.

I picked it up, my eyebrows pulling together at the unknown number before I opened up the text.

**_Are you coming tonight?_**

Frowning, I wracked my brain to try to remember if I'd given my phone number out recently.

_Who is this?_

**_Edward._**

A tiny gasp escaped my lips and my heart picked up double time. I felt like a teenager getting her first text from a boy and I rolled my eyes at my juvenile behaviour.

_How did you get my number?_

**_Alice. Is that okay? Is it endearing that I asked her for it? Or totally creepy?_**

I smiled a little and bit my lip. _A little bit of both. But I'm not complaining._

**_So, are you coming tonight?_**

_To the party? Or? _I left it open, not wanting to assume he wanted to hang out with me, although I really, _really_ wanted him to.

**_Both, but mainly OR._**

I blushed furiously, throwing my head back and giggling like a thirteen-year-old girl before replying. I was elated that he wanted to see me too.

_Do you know what tonight's theme is?_ I asked because although he didn't dress up, Rosalie had told me in the past that Emmett took deep offence at every non-costumed person who came to his parties.

**_Nineties film characters._**

I groaned. Who on earth could I possibly dress up as at such late notice?

_Where does Emmett get this crap?_

**_Pinterest. I'm not even joking._**

_I'm dying of laughter right now. Emmett has Pinterest AND maternity pants?_

**_He's his own kind of unique. Are you coming tonight?_**

I sighed and rubbed my eyes. I wanted to go; I wanted to see him, this gorgeous, beautiful, but confusing-as-hell man. He made me feel more than I had in four years and it frightened and excited me.

And God help me, I wanted him.

_If you promise not to laugh at whatever last minute costume I manage to throw together._

**_I promise. _**

_I'll see you later then._

I stood up and threw my phone on my bed before making my way through our apartment to the living room where I knew Rosalie would be. She religiously spent her Saturdays watching romance movies.

She was lounged on the couch in a onesie covered in red hearts; her hair up in a messy ponytail that looked more glamorous than any hairstyle I could ever achieve on my own. She looked up from where Claire Danes and Leonardo DiCaprio were locking lips on our television.

"I need your help," I told her.

* * *

><p>"You don't think this is a bit much?" I asked as Rosalie applied scarlet lipstick to my mouth, her perfectly arched eyebrows pulled together in concentration.<p>

"Definitely not," she said, pulling back to admire her handy work. When I glanced in the mirror, I felt immense relief that I still looked like myself. Rose, on the other hand, had gone to great lengths to put together her flawless imitation of Cher from Clueless, right down to the knee-high socks.

I stood up, manoeuvring carefully so that I didn't hit her with my angel wings. These were left over from last Halloween when she rocked Emmett's world, with white lingerie. Paired with the white floor length gown she'd worn to her senior prom and my hair straightened and half of it pinned up, I looked very much like Baz Lurhmann's Juliet.

I didn't even want to think about the possibility of my Romeo.

* * *

><p>"You look amazing, Bella!" Alice shouted over the music as we weaved our way through the crowd made thicker by the inability to extend the party outdoors due to the downpour.<p>

Despite her tiny frame, the crowd moved aside as Alice made her way through to the living room, her _Matrix_ costume garnering the unwavering attention of every science fiction fanatic in the room.

"Thank you!" I shouted back, covering the top of the red solo cup in my hand so that I didn't spill red punch everywhere. "You look amazing too; I bet Jasper is having the worst time right now."

Jasper also happened to be a science fiction fanatic. Alice threw me a sly look over her shoulder. "He's already made me promise not to take it off until after everyone has gone, if you know what I mean."

I laughed, knowing that it was absolutely true. Alice and Jasper, like Rose and Emmett, had the kind of relationship dynamic that a hopeless romantic like me envied. Unlike the stale and borderline awkward times Jacob and I would get together to hang out without having sex, they thrived together, feeding positive energy and unwavering support to one another. They loved and were loved unconditionally.

I prayed that someday I might feel that same love.

* * *

><p>I was sandwiched between Rose and Alice on the sofa, watching Emmett and Jasper try to drink one another under the table when my phone buzzed in my pocket. Edward's name appeared on my screen and I blushed before opening the message, trying my hardest to hide the name on the screen from my nosey friends.<p>

**_Where are you? _**

I bit my lip and contemplated my answer before typing. _Downstairs._

**_Whatever happened to OR?_**

I giggled quietly and shoved my phone back into the small bag I'd brought with me before pulling myself out from between the girls, making sure I didn't hit them with my wings. "I'm going upstairs," I told them, not lingering long enough to see their expressions before I was out of the room and making my way to where I knew he was waiting.

I forced myself to take the steps leading to his door slowly, determined not to seem too . While I knew I wasn't falling for him at the moment, I also knew it was only a matter of time before I did.

He opened the door the second I lifted my hand to knock and I was momentarily dazzled into silence by the sight of his wide smile.

"Hey," he said, eyes twinkling almost mischievously.

"Hi," I replied, still slightly dazed as I entered his room. Like last week, there were open textbooks and pens covering the coffee table where he'd spent the night studying.

"I like your costume."

I turned to find him staring at me, much in the same way he had the night that we'd our almost kiss. I blushed furiously. "Thank you."

"I have to finish reading the chapter really quickly, but we can put a movie or something on after that if you want?" he asked and I was shocked, to say the least. Never in the past had he wanted to do any of those things, not even with his cousin and friends, yet now he wanted to do them with _me_.

"Sounds good," I managed to reply, making my way over to the couch without looking at him, well aware that my cheeks were flaming. I sat sideways on the recliner, with my legs over the arm of the chair so that I didn't crush my wings. I pulled my E-reader from my bag and opened it to the book I'd spent the better half of the morning devouring. While I loved the feel of paper between my fingers and the scent of a book as you opened it, there was no denying the ease of owning an e-reader.

I was five pages in when I forgot where I was, finding myself pulled into the world of Greek gods and Argonauts. I was up to the fifth book in the Eternal Guardians series and I found myself consuming each one quicker than the last.

I was at the point in the book where the lead characters finally gave in to rational thought and reason to be together, and as I read line after line of how they worshipped one another's bodies, I found myself rubbing my thighs together, fighting for the friction I desperately wanted.

"Bella," Edward said and I gasped as I looked up to find him standing beside the chair, looking down at me. "Are you okay? I called your name like three times."

My cheeks flamed impossibly redder and I looked down at the screen of my e-reader and turned it over. "Uh, yeah…sorry."

"What are you reading?" he asked, as his eyebrows rose.

"Nothing," I snapped back, making him smirk. He leaned down, slowly until his face hovered above mine and our lips were a breath away. My heart skipped a beat as he licked his lips, a little gasp left mine as he leaned in a little further and … took my e-reader from my hands.

"Edward!" I hissed as he laughed, making his way into the bathroom, locking the door behind him before I had the chance to stop him.

I groaned loudly, collapsing onto his bed with my head in my hands as he read the book behind the locked door.

When he came out a few minutes later, I said nothing and refused to look his way, even when he sat on the bed beside me.

"Did reading that make you wet?" he asked, his voice hoarse and I looked up from my hands so quickly that I startled us both.

"What?"

His eyes flashed and I watched as he moved from his place beside me, sliding down onto the floor in front of my feet.

"Are you wet?" he asked, his eyes trained on mine. I felt his hand on my ankle, his thumb stroking over the skin above the strap of my sandal.

"Yes," the word was a little more than a whisper as it fell from my lips.

He moved his hand higher, his fingertips leaving warm trails as he lifted my dress higher and higher up my legs and then over my thighs until it bunched around my waist. He placed a hand on each of my knees and paused, looking from the exposed tiny bow on the waistband of my white cotton panties and back up to my face.

"Will you let me?" he asked. I could hear my heart pounding, trying to leap from my chest as I looked at his hands resting on my knees and I had to force myself not to hyperventilate. In less than three minutes, Edward had turned me on more than Jacob, or any erotica ever had.

"Let you what?"

He smirked and it took my breath away. "Let me make you come."

All of the breath left my lungs at once and my lower body flooded with warmth. Slowly, he pulled my legs apart, his gaze moving down to the white cotton that I knew without looking was completely soaked with my arousal.

"Please," I whispered as his fingertips trailed higher and higher to the place I desperately needed them to be. "Touch me."

He slipped his fingers over the wet patch of cotton, pressing down on _that_ spot. I moaned embarrassingly loud and then covered my hands with my face as he continued to rub my clit.

"Look at me, Bella," he said and I lowered my hands to meet his gaze as he tugged at my panties. I lifted my hips, our gazes never breaking as he pulled the cotton from my body, discarding them on the hardwood before moving his attention to where I was bare to him.

"I thought about this," he said quietly as he stroked his fingers up and down my wet folds. "About touching you. I never imagined you'd be bare, but I'm glad that you are. I like being able to see you. You're so fucking pretty."

I hissed as he thrust a finger into me, his eyes never leaving mine as he pushed it in and out of me before adding a second finger. He picked up the pace, harder and harder until I was a panting, shrieking mess.

"More," I begged him and he paused his movement, quirking an eyebrow at me.

"Tell me what you want, pretty girl," He ordered, moving his face closer to where his fingers were and blew, his hot breath hitting my clit in the most delicious way.

"I want you to kiss me."

"Where, pretty girl? Where do you want me to kiss you?" His voice was playful and his eyes shined brightly as they teased me.

"I want you to kiss me _there_. I've never … No one's ever done it to me before."

"Well, we can't have that, can we?" he asked before he lowered his mouth to that exact spot, dropping a single, tiny kiss on it before sucking it into his mouth. He began moving his fingers again, setting the pace faster than he had a minute before and then bit down gently.

I threw my head back and cried out, my eyes closed as he sped up once again and buried my hands in his hair, holding him to me. I began to feel it a second later, the familiar tingle in my lower belly that told me I was close. So, so _close_.

"Look at me," he growled. I met his gaze, brown locked with green as he leant down once more to capture my clit in his mouth, sucking down hard. He brought me to the brink of orgasm, and I could see it over the horizon, the white-gold glow right _there_ before he took his fingers out of me, replacing them with his tongue.

A second later I came undone.

"Fuck!" I cried out as my muscles contracted around his tongue, which continued to thrust in and out of me. My hand buried in his hair, continued to push his face further between my legs as I rode out the most powerful orgasm of my life.

I watched as he lifted his head from me, blushing furiously as he wiped his mouth and moved to sit on the bed beside me once more. I couldn't look at him, my face flaming in both awe and embarrassment at the reaction he'd just triggered from my body.

"Look at me, Bella," he ordered, his voice soft and I turned to look at him, gnawing at my lower lip as our eyes met. I was never going to look at green the same way.

"Did you like that?" he inquired, running his fingertips over the bare skin of my arm, making me shiver.

"Yes," I admitted because I'd loved it, every single second of it. I'd never felt anything like that in my entire life, not just the pleasure, but the connection between us. He smiled widely at my answer, moving closer until his lips brushed my neck. I inhaled shakily as he dropped a small kiss on the spot beneath my ear before nibbling at my skin the tiniest bit.

"Will you let me do it again?"

* * *

><p><strong>Everlasting Why by suitablyironicmoniker <strong>

_**A student of social work & her troubled client. Longing to help him, she suspects & soon learns there is far more beneath the surface than she could have ever guessed. & perhaps her motives for helping are more complicated than she's willing to admit.**_


	7. Chapter Six

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.**

**Beta'd by SunflowerFran!**

**I will try to have at least one chapter up over the next week, so send me your positive vibes!**

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><p>"Bella, you have to pay attention or the boss is going to have your head!" Peter hissed into my ear before giving me a sharp nudge that pulled me from my daydream.<p>

"Shit, sorry," I mumbled with pink cheeks as I dumped the coffee I'd all but abandoned to start a fresh one. Tuesday shifts in comparison to Monday weren't as busy, but I'd had trouble concentrating on any task for long after Saturday night.

Going back to filling in orders, my mind drifted again to the third floor and to Edward. He'd been relentless in drawing pleasure from my body, using his tongue and fingers to thrust me over the brink again and again until I had become a mess of quivering limbs beneath his touch.

He'd driven me home afterwards, his smirk firmly in place as he had walked me to my door, dropping a kiss on my forehead before leaving me to stumble to my bedroom on shaky legs. Only stopping to remove the wings from my back and to kick my shoes off, I'd collapsed onto my bed, and had fallen asleep, still wearing Rosalie's dress.

It had been the best night's sleep I'd ever had.

I finished my shift with a smile on my face, despite the confused looks on the faces of my co-workers, who were too used to my usual melancholy nature to understand me showing another emotion.

I didn't know what was going on between Edward and me, and I was in no rush to put a label on something I was so unsure would go anywhere, despite the fact that I thought about him constantly. _Him _and not the reaction he'd drawn from my body, but **_him_** as in the guy who had read Wuthering Heights because he'd seen me with it and not only watched, but _owned_ the extended editions of _The Lord of the Rings_.

Edward Cullen had noticed me when nobody else ever had, drawing me out of my shell and into a place where I felt like I could finally be myself.

It scared the hell out of me.

* * *

><p><strong><em>What are you doing today?<em>**

I smiled as I opened my phone to read the message, the same one I'd been waking up to every morning since Sunday. He'd text me sporadically throughout the day, between classes and whatever else he did. He didn't answer the questions, he asked them. Hundreds of questions it seemed; everything from my favourite colour, to why I was studying to become a social worker. I'd answered the first with complete honesty; that my favourite colour varied with my moods, before fibbing my way through the second.

I'd told him that I wanted to assist in finding children better homes than the ones they were born into, to help them find parents to give them the unconditional love they deserved. I hadn't told him about Chelsea, my real motivation for becoming a social worker. The woman who had singlehandedly saved my life after what little family I had left, perished.

I hadn't told him about my father and mother's deaths or that I had been orphaned at age sixteen. I hadn't told him any of it. While I knew it would be so easy for me to give Edward those parts of myself, something deeper within me commanded me not to, to keep the secret safe with Rose and I. Jacob knew, of course, but while his morals had slipped exponentially over the past year, he had loved Charlie too much to disrespect his memory in that way.

I shook my head to rid myself of the thoughts, of the negativity. I'd been having a good week and I refused to allow myself to start wallowing in doubt. Regardless of what we were or weren't, Edward made me feel alive and I was not ready to give that up, not when I'd barely gotten a taste of it yet. I sighed and typed out my response to him, a small smile finding its way back to my face.

_I have classes and I usually spend Wednesday nights studying in the library. __There are__ no revising notes when Emmett sleeps __over if__ you know what I mean. What about you?_

**_I have classes and I usually spend Wednesday nights studying with Alice and Jasper. It's much easier to study when Rose isn't sleeping over, if you know what I mean._**

_Lucky guy, _I replied, a small chuckle escaping from my mouth.

**_I've been incredibly lucky this week, if you know what I mean._**

My cheeks flamed and my lower body tingled in response to his words. I inhaled deeply, not one person or piece of erotica had ever enticed this kind of reaction from my body before and I closed my eyes, remembering the way his eyes had locked with mine the moment that I had first come undone beneath his touch.

_The week isn't over __yet if__ you know what I mean._ I typed the message out and clicked send before I could change my mind, shoving my phone back into my pocket, determined not to obsess over my response.

I wanted him to touch me again, to make me fall apart, over and over and then I wanted to give back as good as I got.

* * *

><p>"Are you going to tell me what went down on Saturday night?" Rose asked as I arrived back at the apartment after my Wednesday morning classes. I rolled my eyes and smiled at her, shaking my head as I made my way to the fridge to pull out last night's leftover risotto.<p>

"No," I replied, amused by her relentless asking. The morning after it had happened, I'd wanted to tell her, to share with her all of the delicious details until we were both blushing and giggling uncontrollably. But then, as I'd lain in bed, recalling every moment that he'd touched me, how unbelievably naked and vulnerable I'd felt beneath his gaze, I realised that I didn't want to share that, I didn't want to share how I felt. Not yet, anyway.

"Ugh, you're so stubborn," she whined as she made her way over to the breakfast bar, pulling out one of our barstools and collapsing onto it dramatically.

"Yeah, but I can cook and you can't, so you have to keep me around." I teased, winking at her as I pulled out two bowls from the cupboard.

"I keep you around because you're my best friend, Bella, the fact that you know a hundred different ways to cook chicken is just a very lucky bonus," she said. The sincerity in her voice surprising me enough to turn around and raise my eyebrows at her display of emotion. While she and Emmett were inseparable and madly in love, Rose was still always going to be careful about who she let into her life and heart. Her trust was hard to earn, but when won, it was unwavering.

"I love you, too," I told her, understanding what she hadn't said out loud.

"If you loved me, you'd let me know if Cullen was as good with his fingers as I imagined he would be, bitch."

* * *

><p>When I arrived at the library, it was empty of almost all students, the majority of my peers choosing instead to study down at Starbucks instead of being surrounded by the smell of well-worn pages and the sight of cracked spines.<p>

Back in Forks, the library had been my haven growing up. Renee's lack of being a permanent fixture in my life had forced me to learn all that I knew about becoming a woman by reading, and later, everything I knew about sex. The librarians in Forks had known me by name by the time I was ten. Charlie would leave me in their care during the long summer days when he had to work and I put my foot down about him leaving me at the station during his shifts.

The library here had been the first thing I'd researched when Chelsea had forced me to apply. And apart from the woman's tenacious opinion that I needed to go to college, it had been the library that had won me over. I'd walked through miles of books, my fingers tracing their spines and my eyes filled with wonder. I had never felt more at home.

It felt the same way two years later.

I carefully navigated my way through the stacks, despite knowing exactly where I was and found my table. It was the same table every week, the huge, dark mahogany desk buried deep in the history section, well lit by one of the few lamps on the third level that didn't flicker when you turned it on.

I breathed a sigh of contentment as I sat down in the chair that I would be cursing later for giving me a backache, and pulled out the study material that needed my attention the most.

I was five pages deep into the chapter I was reading when the chair opposite me became occupied. Never having gotten company while sitting in this spot before, I startled and looked up. When I did, I found myself staring into a pair of shining jade eyes.

"Hi," Edward said, his mouth lifting in one corner to flash me that wicked crooked grin.

"Hey," I said back, my voice filled with surprise. I was pleased though, my stomach already starting to fill with the butterflies that seemed to be a permanent fixture whenever he was around. "What are you doing here?"

"Wanted to hang out with you," he answered simply, giving me a small smile before pulling his own books and pens out of his bag. I liked that he didn't study with a computer, that he took notes on paper and highlighted his textbooks rather than use Wikipedia.

"Uh, okay," I said calmly, despite the fact that my heart was racing at a thousand miles per hour. We hadn't messaged since morning, when I'd sent him that text.

"It's okay that I came here right?" He asked suddenly sounding a little nervous. I looked up to find him staring at me, hesitation on his face for the first time since I'd met him.

"I've never been here with anyone before," I admit, waving my hand over the table. This small, seemingly private section of the library was special to me, one of the few places in my life that I've felt completely at ease. "It's ... Special to me."

He winced and frowned. "Do you want me to leave? I didn't mean to overstep-"

"Stay," I told him with a smile. I wanted him here, I wanted him to understand my world and I wanted him to like it.

He grinned in reply, jade eyes twinkling. "Okay."

We worked in companionable silence for an hour, the only sounds around us coming from the scratching of our pens on paper as we filled page after page of notes. The silence wasn't awkward and I was relieved to find that I didn't feel out of sorts with him being here with me.

I was halfway through reading the same paragraph for the fifth time, my mind going over the text I'd sent him earlier. My imagination ran wild with all of the things I wanted to do with him and for him.

I stood silently, before I could lose my nerve and started walking through the stacks, deeper and deeper into the sections that rarely saw a visitor. I heard footsteps behind me, the sound of shoes on the old carpet letting me know that he'd done what I'd wanted; followed.

Without missing a beat, I turned and made my way towards him, moving until he was backed against shelves, trapped between them and me. His eyes darkened as I dropped to my knees before him, his breath hitching in his throat as I lifted my hands to undo his belt. And with only slightly shaking hands, I managed to pull his jeans down and boxer briefs down, causing his erection to spring towards me and I giggled as I wrapped my hand around him.

With my mouth only a few inches away, I looked up at him, my stomach flipping at his deeply aroused expression as he stared down at me in both awe and shock. I moved my hand slowly, up and down, revelling in the feel of his soft skin beneath my hand and smiled when he twitched and let out a small groan in response.

"Will you let me?" I asked, using his words from the weekend before moving in a little closer, my breath washing over him.

He smirked then and I smiled in response as he said nothing but nodded, his eyes never leaving mine as I closed those final few inches between us. I moved my hand again, a fraction harder than I had before, intently watching his reaction as I slowly wrapped my lips around him.

* * *

><p><em>Now we're even<em>, I texted him as I slid into bed, my mouth fixed in a permanent smile as pride continued to course through my body, even an hour later. I'd never enjoyed giving blow jobs before, I'd always felt it to be more of a chore than arousing, but watching Edward's face as I made him come undone had definitely changed my mind. I'd never been wetter than when he'd muttered 'fuck,' as he reached his release, his hand twisted in my hair.

My phone chirped with a message before I'd even had the chance to close my eyes and I leaped to pick it up, my cheeks flaming as I read his reply.

**_Oh no, pretty girl, we're far from even._**

* * *

><p><strong>Fic Rec:<strong>

**With or Without You by Rochelle Allison **

_**Edward and Bella were once high school sweethearts. Years later, their lives converge unexpectedly, forcing Bella to deal with and accept things she's long since tried to move past.**_


	8. Chapter Seven

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.**

**Beta'd by SunflowerFran.**

**Reviews are love!**

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><p><em>"<em>_Friendship is certainly the finest balm for the pangs of disappointed love."_

The Jane Austen quote, written in my neatest handwriting on the first page of my tattered journal had always been one of my favourites. It had given me immense comfort during the relationship I had with Jacob, when I'd realised that while I loved him, I wasn't _in_ love with him. I'd wanted passionate and all-consuming love instead of the comfortable relationship that (on my end) held little more affection than a friendship.

I'd stayed with Jacob because I'd been afraid of losing him, of losing one of the last links to my father, and had resigned myself to the fact that I might never have the kind of love I craved. I'd felt guilty our entire relationship – for, not loving him the way he deserved – but the relief that I no longer had to carry the charade had overpowered the sting of his betrayal.

He'd once been my best friend, my greatest supporter other than my father, and after his death, Chelsea. We'd pushed each other in high school to get the grades we needed to escape the confines of Forks. He feared the responsibility of becoming the chief of his people after his father and I had grown tired of the looks of pity and concern every time I did my groceries.

In the summer, when he'd arrived at my apartment a week earlier than I'd expected him and informed me with cold eyes that he'd been sleeping with one of my closest friends, it had hurt. I'd never have expected it from him, nor the nasty words he'd spit at me after he'd heard about James, which had stung infinitely more.

So when he approached me on campus on Thursday morning, I'd been more than shocked to find him staring at me with remorse and shame painted on his face.

"Bells," he said, his voice soft and I flinched at the use of the nickname my father had given me, the one I'd always hated when it came from his mouth.

"Leave me alone, Jacob," I had muttered trying to turn away from him, only to be stopped by his hand on my arm.

"Don't touch me!" I hissed, ripping myself out of his grip. He jumped back as if he'd been burned, no doubt shocked by the poison in my voice.

"I heard about what really happened with James, that he tried to force you … I'm so fucking sorry for saying what I did about you, Bells. I didn't mean it, you have to forgive me," his voice shook with his words. A few weeks before, I might have fallen for it, but as I watched his eyes fill with tears, I felt nothing.

"No," I told him.

"What?" he looked at me, shock replacing remorse.

"I don't _have_ to forgive you, I don't have to do anything. You hurt me, you cheated on me, and you made me sound like a _slut!_ So no, I won't forgive you. You don't deserve it."

"Bells," he pleaded and his shoulders hunched, making him appear smaller than I'd ever seen him. "Please, I made a mistake, baby. I love you, I've always-"

"You don't love me Jacob, not like you said you did. If you had, then you never would have cheated on me. You don't hurt the people you love and you hurt me," I told him, my voice firm and my resolve unwavering.

"But Bells-"

"And I fucking hate when you call me that!" I hissed. "You never listened to me, ever. You always ordered my food for me and never remembered my birthday and not once, ever, did you give me an orgasm. And worse than that, you didn't even fucking try."

His face paled and he swallowed, his shoulders hunching as he looked away, but I continued. I overlooked all of that, because you weren't just my boyfriend, you were my _best __friend_ and I trusted you. But you slept with Leah, of all people and I will _never_ forgive you for that. I loved you both and you betrayed me."

"Bella-"

I held up a hand, stopping him from whatever guilt-tripping soliloquy he was about to spew. "Don't. Just leave me alone."

And then I walked away, leaving Jacob and all of his crap behind, feeling lighter than I had in years.

* * *

><p>I was sitting at a the table at work while on my break, going over all of the homework I would be buried in over the weekend when I heard the scrape of a chair being pulled out opposite me. Startled, I looked up to find Alice smiling at me warmly.<p>

"Hey," I told her, not hiding my surprise.

"Hey, I'm sorry I kind of just showed up here, but I wanted to talk to you real quick." She smiled at me, but I could see the tension in her shoulders.

I smiled tightly, already worried about what she was going to say, because I knew it was about Edward. "It's okay, I was about to die of boredom anyway," I lied.

"It's about Edward," she started, running her hand through her hair in a way I immediately recognised. "He's my cousin and I know I've never actually mentioned this to you before but we've lived together almost our entire lives**.** My parents raised him and I can honestly say that I have never seen him act the way he has in the past couple of weeks. Not ever."

My heart pounded in my chest at her words, echoing so loudly that I almost didn't hear anything else around me. I'd known that she and Edward were cousins, but I hadn't known they'd lived together for that long, I'd just assumed they'd moved in with one another to cut costs. "How has he been acting?" I enquired.

"Alive," she stated, her mouth stretching into a wide smile. "I don't know why Bella, but for most of his life he's been … introverted. Not shy, just _silent_ and you … You make him _smile_. He's smiling every single day and you have no idea what that means to me, what it'll mean to my parents."

"I don't know what to say. I haven't really done anything." _Except give him a blowjob in a public library,_ I added in my head. She definitely didn't need to know that.

She smiled sweetly. "I just wanted to thank you. He's been stuck in his head for so long and it's nice to see him out of it. And out of that freaking bedroom!" she laughed and I laughed along with her, willing my heart to stop beating so fast.

I didn't want to hear that I'd changed something in him, or brought him out of his shell, because that was the kind of thing that made a girl think she was special. It was the kind of thing that made a girl fall. And I wasn't ready to fall for him.

Not yet.

But I was well on my way.

* * *

><p><strong><em>What are you reading?<em>** His message read, and I started as I looked down at the open book on my pillow, the one I'd put down so I could reply to his text. It was ten o'clock and I'd finally given up on my homework, promising my GPA that I'd give it some love the next day.

_How do you know that I'm reading? I could be doing anything. I have a lot of homework, you know._

**_Because I know you, Pretty Girl. What are you reading?_**

I blushed furiously. He'd spent the entire week asking question after question about my life, demanding more when I gave him short answers and asking me to elaborate more often than not. When I'd asked him why, he'd said that he needed to know. Needed, not wanted. He told me that he'd waited long enough and when I'd asked what he'd waited for, he'd simply asked me another question.

_I'm reading _a Game of Thrones.

**_Which one?_**

_Just the first one._

I put my phone down then and picked up my book, resuming reading from where I'd stopped and was less than a paragraph in when my phone started buzzing with a call. I read his name on the screen and hesitated for less than a second before answering it.

"Hello?" I asked, trying desperately to sound calm but failing miserably.

"Where are you up to?" he asked without giving me a hello. His voice was low and velvety and made me press my thighs together.

"Dany is about to marry Drogo," I told him. There was silence on the other end for a minute and I could hear sheets moving and blushed furiously when I realised that he was also in bed. I smiled a little though, because he'd never called me before.

"Can you read to me?" he asked, his voice soft and my heart stuttered in my chest.

"Okay," I told him and began reading.

I read aloud, paragraphs falling from my mouth without hesitation until Dany and Drogo were finally alone and he began touching her intimately. My breathing hitched and I faintly heard his do the same and the silent air between our two phones crackled with tension. I read until Daenerys gave into him and after, barely ten pages in when my voice started to crack and my throat began to hurt.

With a small smile in his voice, he told me to put the book away and to go to sleep. And with a broad grin on my face, I listened to him.

* * *

><p>I woke up the next morning, my throat still scratchy and I groaned, knowing that I would be spending the weekend nursing my first cold of the school year. Despite being incredibly used to the poor weather, there was no avoiding the contagious germ that seemed to hit me the same time every year without fail.<p>

I made my way through my morning classes with a zombie-like disposition, barely taking notes as my nose stopped working properly and my temples started throbbing. When I got home, Rose had taken one look at me before calling Liam and telling him to find a replacement for my shift. I was thankful because she was one of the few people that he actually feared and I was desperate to take some Tylenol and burrow myself under my covers and sleep my cold away.

* * *

><p>By Saturday afternoon, my fever had finally broken.<p>

I'd slept no more than two hours at a time and I'd already forgotten what it had felt like to be able to breathe with both nostrils unblocked.

I was hating life.

Rosalie had been in periodically throughout the night and day, making sure I was still alive and forcing me to keep hydrated. With the help of Emmett, she'd moved the television onto the dresser in front of my bed and had fired up Netflix before leaving for their Grease themed Saturday night.

She'd made a fantastic Sandy.

I'd messaged Edward yesterday afternoon, informing him of the illness that would be ruining my weekend. Ihadn't checked my phone since I'd changed into my favourite, long-sleeved, oversized nightie and had crawled into bed.

I leaned over and picked it up from my bedside table, clicking the home button once before recognizing that it was flat. I was weighing up the pros and cons of leaving my bed and going out into the living room to grab its charger when I heard someone knocking loudly on the front door. Pushing aside my used tissue mountain, I rolled out of bed and made my way slowly to the front door.

One look into the peephole told me that Edward was standing outside.

He was through the door less than a second after I opened it. He didn't hesitate before walking over to the kitchen counter and placing two plastic bags on top of it before turning to smile at me. "Hey."

"Hi," I croaked back, moving over to the counter and throwing myself onto one of the second-hand bar stools. He leaned over and placed his hand on my forehead, checking my temperature before dropping it to my jaw and running his thumb across my cheek.

"Your fever broke?" he asked and I nodded in response, smiling weakly. "When?"

"A couple of hours ago," I replied, watching as he lifted Styrofoam cups and containers out of his bag.

"I brought you soup," he stated as he opened one of the cups and I moaned as the scent of chicken noodle hit me. My appetite had been gone for over twenty-four hours and I rejoiced at having it back.

"Soup?"

"Soup."

"You're the best," I told him as he handed me the cup and a spoon. He grinned in response, opening another container before taking the seat next to me.

"Debatable," he quipped back, before digging into his own dinner.

* * *

><p>"Thank you," I told him as he put the rubbish from our dinner in the bin. He closed the lid before turning back to me, his jade eyes soft.<p>

"It's okay," he replied, walking around the counter and swinging my barstool around so that I faced him. Gently, he cupped my face in his hands. "I brought Star Wars, but you seem to be missing a television."

I giggled and fought back a cough. "It's in my bedroom. What trilogy?" I enquired, praying he knew the right answer.

"Original, of course," he replied with a crooked grin that I felt warm my entire body. He moved his hand from my face and took my hand. "Which one's your room?"

I smiled in response, trying to forget the fact that I looked like absolute hell before pointing to my bedroom door. With flushed cheeks, I managed to dispose of my tissue mountain before I crawled back into bed. I watched with a pounding heart as Edward came into the room a minute later, our Blu-ray player in his hands as he began hooking it up without hesitation. After he put in the first disk, he then made his way over to my bed, taking off his jumper and shoes before climbing in next to me.

"You're gonna get sick," I mumbled as he pulled me until my head rested against his chest, his heart beating steadily against my cheek.

"It's Saturday," he replied quietly. "I had to see you, illness or no illness."

I didn't say anything back.

I didn't know what to say to that, but my chest filled with intense warmth in response. I was right about Jacob, our relationship wasn't anything like how it should have been. Not once had he ever made me feel a fraction of this intensity or _joy_. It was startling.

We said nothing throughout the movie, or the next one, him too engrossed and me paying more attention to the hand stroking my hair than the adventures of the Rebel alliance. Between the first and the second film, he'd gotten up to bring me cough syrup, the kind that I liked because it made me feel drowsy enough to actually sleep.

He'd gotten it without me even asking, also bringing me a cup of water to wash down the too-sweet taste. I'd never had that with Jacob. Not the movie watching in bed, or the taking care of me when I was sick. It filled me with a warmth that I'd not felt since my father had died.

I felt completely safe.

"Edward," I croaked as the credits rolled on _The Empire Strikes Back. _The sun had long since set and the only light in the room came from the screen. He lifted the remote and shut it off before shifting so that we were face to face.

In the darkness though, I couldn't see a thing. "What is it, love?"

"You make me feel special," I admitted softly, my voice slightly slurred with sleep. "No one's ever made me feel special before."

He said nothing as he wrapped an arm around me, pulling me tightly against his chest before dropping a kiss to my forehead. "You made me feel again, Pretty Girl. You are special."

I burrowed further into his chest at that, smothering my smile against the fabric of his shirt before letting his heartbeat lull me into sleep.

I dreamed of jade eyes and crooked grins.

* * *

><p><strong>Fic Rec:<strong>

**Adult Book Store by cosmogirl7481**

_**Bella drove past every day…curious, frustrated, repressed and longing. Secretly needing something, but too afraid to ask. Until one day, she wasn't.**_


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